I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
