Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize