Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
