i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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