So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
