so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
