8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
