Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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