I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
