Is it because I queefed?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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