sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
