This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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