I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
