"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
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I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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