Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
