I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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