So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize