Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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