Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
