Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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