I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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