Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
