omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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