Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize