i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just threw up on my dentist
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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