just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
