Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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