In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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