apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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