And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
