I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
