I could make wine with my vomit
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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