Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
