yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
