Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
