I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize