At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize