We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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