I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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