get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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