I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
youre lurking in front of me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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