Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
