i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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