well you can't waste a boner
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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