Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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