Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
