So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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