I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
