And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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