so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
