that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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