sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
