well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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