careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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