I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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