Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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