We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
