i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
cat food counts as protein by the way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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