matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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