All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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