the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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