are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
