I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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