Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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