fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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