So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
