So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
